Tag Archives: Comedy sketch

Fightee’s Pub


Man-Up Mondays are back at Fightee’s!

That’s right, take your aggression out on half price Slappetizers until 11, then crack open a can of Fightee’s own Whoopass lager for just 2 bucks from 11 to Last Fall or until we get shut down, whichever comes first!  

Fightee’s has what it takes to satisfy your manly need to kick ass and take names with ambulances on stand-by and a Red Cross vending machine on site!  

Don’t be the one bro at work without stories about bashing another guy over the head with a bar stool ever again! At Fightee’s, we’re making memories and losing them, one brawl at a time!

You don’t have to take our word for it, just listen to these loyal Fightee’s patrons: 

“Yo I got straight mangled at Fightee’s, definitely going back for more!”

“Yo I hate my boss so this was the best place to take him for his bachelor party. Thanks, Fightee’s!”

“The Fightee’s ambulance crew didn’t let me bleed out for more than 3 minutes, you don’t get that kind of attention at other bars. It’s clear they’re really committed to making sure everyone has fun.”

Never been to Fightee’s?  Try us on a No-Flinch Friday, where every time you make another bro flinch, he owes you a beer! And don’t forget, on Sucker Punch Saturdays get a dollar off your drink order for each cut or bruise you get while you’re here!

Don’t just go out tonight, go for a knockout at Fightee’s!

Chris Cringle and Col. Harland Sanders: A Family Secret Exposed


It’s a story as American as instant mashed potatoes. In the late 1800’s two brothers were born in Henryville, Indiana who were destined to have a greater impact on America and the world than they could ever realize. Unfortunately, they were diametrically opposed in every way possible. One was to become the most famous symbol of peace, joy and compassion. The other was to become a symbol of corporate greed and commercialism. 

The younger of the two by 7 years, Harland  was not given the same amount of love and attention from the boys’ parents. He dropped out of school at age 16 entered the workforce, somehow transforming himself into a shrewd business man, trying his hand at several failed money making schemes. He joined the Army and fought bravely in WW1, rising to the rank of Colonel. A hip injury from shrapnel ended his tour of duty, leaving him with a new surname and a permanent limp requiring him to walk with a cane. Although a bit rattled from his battlefield experience, he was even more motivated to succeed in business like any good red-blooded American patriot. Upon his return home he made a fortune in the mass produced fried chicken business. He never cared for his brother’s “love your neighbor” idealism. It was shameful to him that Chris didn’t go to fight in the war, a fact that only deepened the rift between them. 

Chris was the older brother, always a little chubbier than Harland, and always the most giving and friendly, peace loving and caring person. He never had a problem with anyone in life except for Harland. Chris was a tried and true hippie before there was a name for such a thing. It saddened him to see his brother become a cold and calculating processed meat tycoon. So much so in fact, he changed his last name to Cringle to avoid being associated with his brother. The name Cringle is derived from “Chris” and the word “jingle”, on account of his obsession with wearing bells on his boots that made a jingling sound when he walked. Due to his overly generous nature he never made a lot of money. He was content to travel around spreading joy from town to town. He held several temporary jobs and communal living situations in his youth. He eventually found a wife and moved to the North pole to get away from a society he never felt shared his values. He was an animal rights activist and kept a herd of reindeer he rescued from a meat processing plant under dubious circumstances. 

Chris represents the ultimate bleeding heart liberal, and Harland represents the die-hard conservative corporate baron.  No wonder they never quite saw eye to eye. This mockumentary would contain interviews with old friends sharing memories of Chris and Harland from many years ago. There would be dramatic reenactments of their lives, and their bitter rivalries. All of it would be sensationalized by a syrupy, smug narrator.