All posts by Spaceman Ross

A young man hurtling through space, sealed in his shuttle. Isolated from all human contact except for a digital interface. He was sent on a mission to claim new territory and resources for the One World Government. He has yet to find any, and he's longing for his life back on earth as he wanders ever deeper into nothingness.

Packing Peanuts Moving Company


This sketch is about a San Francisco based moving company with a flair for the dramatic.  The oiled hard bodied laborers are cheered on by a flamboyant mascot in a giant pink styrofoam “packing peanut” costume.  The mascot pronounces the company name as “Packing Penis” while energetically trying to sell moving services to “straight” characters, who are obviously uncomfortable with the approach.  A commercial could be done, and either the commercial or the crew could be recalled in another sketch.  

They Can’t Take That Away From Us


A game show set in the 70’s where infamous villains from history are interviewed and can win money and prizes by correctly answering questions about other evil, infamous characters from history. The host interviews and sardonically showcases darkly hilarious “facts” (some are made up) about the villains’ personal lives.  


Seventies game show style setting.  Lots of yellow, brown, orange and puke green, bad hairstyles on the contestants and perhaps a toupee for the host.  The quintessential long skinny silver microphone reminiscent of Bob Barker in the early days.  Guests would include Adolf Hitler, Charles Manson, Genghis Khan, Napoleon, etc. There is always one thing at the close of each show: the host remarks that “they can never take that away” from the villain, such as Hitler’s mustache or Manson’s swastika tattoo. Maybe?

New Jersey Shoreline Sunrise


The eerie silence in the lonely shuttle is broken by the guttural noise of a half sigh half grunt. Its sole occupant, one lonely pilot, is agonizing over the beautifully painful memory of the New Jersey shoreline sunrise he photographed so long ago. It would be winter there now, Ross mused.




What is McMuhricanization?

To “McMuhricanize” something means to completely destroy its organic, substantial qualities and turn it into something fast, cheap and easy.  The prefix “Mc” finds its origin in MacDonald’s or McMansion, terms describing the McMuhricanizing of food and housing.  The root word is “Muhrica,” the redneck pronunciation of America.  Example: Chinese restaurateurs in the US sell what is called Chinese food but is anything but traditional food eaten in China.  They have succeeded in destroying thousands of years of beautiful culinary culture for the sake of selling Poo-Poo Platters to the less refined American palette.  It’s faster, cheaper and easier to market on a wide scale, but total crap compared to authentic Chinese food.  Hence, McMuhricanized.

Does anyone else have an example to share of McMuhricanization? I would love to hear your thoughts on this concept.


Day 94

Spaceman Ross keeps a journal much like this one of his days spent wondering around the universe. It seems HVAC issues are just as common in space as here on earth. The AC is never cool enough or it’s making a funny noise, or the heat is too much or not enough. What did people do before climate control? Is this why they so often looked uncomfortable in early photographs?

The Life of an Incessant Thinker


It has been yet another beautiful yet busy day on the International Space Station.  There seemed to be a slight malfunction with the ETCS (cooling system).  Yuri tells me that the Soyuz picked up an abnormality on the surface of one of the sub-panels about a year ago, but it didn’t really seem like anything too serious.  It was really acting up today, though, so we checked it out.  Yuri and I embarked on a routine spacewalk to assess the situation, tethered of course by the umbilical cable that gives us the oxygen and electric power we need for the EVA (extravehicular activity) session.

I tell you, it doesn’t matter how many times I walk out into space; every single time I see that blue gem, our beautiful planet, I am dwindled with awe.  How is it that people so small in comparison with this gargantuan and majestic…

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